Chopped My Locks

Well, hello hello again! Welcome to a brand new world of short hair that is totally liberating!

I decided that it feels more "me" to carry this short, sassy, "mess-like" hairdo than the neat, sweet type of locks and curls (which look great on others, but awful on me, for some reason!)...

So on Christmas eve, I made my haircut a gift to myself. With one last twirl of my locks, I traisped down to HarbourFront to find my hairdresser, Jassmine, and got her to do her deft work with her dextrous scisscors! Snip, snip... and voila! You go, Jass!

Happenin' Hair!

Whenever I feel out of sorts, I go get my hair done. Here's one that I like -- think I carry short hair better than long.


Just two months ago, here's what I decided to do -- got my hair coloured RED, and promptly became the talk of the town in church, particularly with the youth! Oops, guess I'm not really a model example by parental standards, huh? I was also told that I should be lucky I haven't been excommunicated or fired from my job at church yet!!! Hahaha...


Here's what I *really* look like today (after the colour's faded :))...


So... what I'm really thinking is, I think it may be about time to go back to the short hairdo... time to whack it all off! Whaddayathink???

A Day By The Information Booth

I got snap-happy today with my little Fuji Q1 2.0 mega pixels camera while manning the Information Booth at church on Sundays. Let me introduce you to some of the interesting people in my life (big AND small :) -- and a glimpse of WHO we meet at the Information Booth weekly...

This is E-Lyn, also fondly known as Lynzeers. She's an "old" friend from my singing days -- when we were with a Christian singing group called Step Of Faith (SOF). Those were fun days, for sure! I'm thankful for friends that go beyond the activities. Even though we no longer sing with SOF, Lynzeers and I still hang out -- we do movies and holidays quite a bit :)


These two are musical madhatters in our midst -- Ruth's wearing "Canada", and she is the most talented professional musician I know -- and also the most humble. She plays the smoothest jazz on those ivories, and I just lurrve listening to her! That, and she's also a sexy alto, which makes her music simply irresistible to me! Oh, btw, Ruth attended Boston Chinese Evangelical Church (BCEC) too, the church I attended when I was studying in Boston, uh, about seven years before her (I'm getting old!)...

And Adeline, with the cute face, has the bubbliest spirit, and the funnest laugh -- and that's probably why we get along so well because we can both cackle loudly and screech and cheer with abandon at Ruth's performances without a care or hoot about what people think!!!:)


Rachel and Val are good pals. Val used to work with us in the church office, and her son Nat is an absolute HIT with us gals at the Info Booth! He is the absolute Charmer, and we just love Nat Nat to bits!


And here's Betty (who also used to work with us in the church office before she had her kids) and her darling Hannah, who is just the sweetest, gentlest little kiddo I know! She's grown into such a beauty. Sweetie pie...


Auntie Belle here loves to play with the kids in church (probably because she's just a big kid herself, haha!:). This is Jordan and Adriel, sons of Cheng Hwee and Annie. They love to play "Spaceship", this game we invented where they're supposed to catch my hand, and I catch theirs. A silly concoction, but we have fun -- and lots of laughs!


Oh, and the happiest little boy ever is Yao En -- son of mummy Song Kheng and papa Chee Khiang. Every time Yao En comes by our Info Booth table, his face lights up with this most beautiful grin, and he brings sooooo much cheer to me! I absolutely grin back with sheer delight whenever this little boy comes by! I believe children reflect the love and purity of God, and Yao En certainly brings out that essence!

People In My Life

For the online record, I would like to give thanks to God for some of the neat people in my life.

Here are my cool colleagues who have become good friends. We're at a Christmas party thrown for the church staff by a generous church member. From left to right: Poh Shan, Rachel, Steven and Kenneth. We like to think we are the "if-then-else" thinkers of the organisation. Poh Shan is our administrator, and without her, I think church organisation would be non-existent! :)


Oh, and of course, since church staff are so committed to their jobs, we always end up discussing work even at socials! :) Steve is the Building and Facilities Manager, and Kenneth is our "cool dude" IT manager. Together, they rule the Church Building and AV/IT World at Covenant Evangelical Free Church!

Here is Pastor David's very adorable daughter, Sze Hui, whom I simply had a blast with! We were laughing together over how we make a Ferraro Roche chocolate swivel on the table -- the simple joys of life! No wonder Christ calls us to simplicity and innocence of child-likeness...


And for laughs, Betty's daughter put on these "humongo" glasses! I just thought she looks like a riot! :)

Blessings Disguised As Crises

Sometimes God's blessings for us comes hidden in the rough packaging of tough times.

I was reflecting on this strange "ontological inversion" recently. God seems to find delight in surprising us, doesn't He? Indeed, this same God who uses "the foolish things of this world to confound the wise" is fond of springing the 180-degree surprise on us.

What the world values, God says it is worthless. His measure of value is the total opposite of what the world says is valuable.

In the same way, what the world calls a crisis, God may see as intrinsic blessing.

I believe this is because God sees a larger canvas, and He has a bigger purpose in mind. Not only that, He is Sovereign, and In Control. And because everything happens for a purpose (see Ecclesiastes 3), a crisis also has its purpose - perhaps a stepping stone towards a higher end, perhaps for personal growth, perhaps to highlight issues, but ultimately, to bring people back to Himself by showing that HE REALLY CAN BE TRUSTED!

I see how He has worked this out in my cousin Kev's life. You see, Kev was due to return home to Malaysia by end of the year. Among a gazillion things to do, he also had to sell his car. That meant placing ads, finding buyers, spending time showing the car etc. It would take a lot of time, which was something he was already short of.

Well, that was when his landlady borrowed his car for an errand, and promptly had an accident (though it was not her fault). Kev's car got trashed and totalled! Crisis, right?

By earthly standards, it was a crisis. Seeing the crushed metal was painful for Kev. So was having to deal with the inconvenience of working out all the paperwork. But finally, insurance paid out - and not only did they offer a very decent price, they paid promptly as well!

Upon reflection, it was evident that God had actually turned the crisis into a blessing. Or perhaps, it was meant to be a blessing all along! For now, Kev no longer had to sell the car in order to recover his capital - it was simply done BECAUSE of the accident! AND... not only did God see fit to resolve payment, He even made the insurers pay the amount Kev had been planning to sell his car for.

So now Kev had effectively "sold" his car without all the inconvenience of trying to find a buyer and showing the car etc! Isn't that cool? Say it with me now: "God is Keeeewwwl!!!"

It's funny to say this, but this accident (incident!) encouraged me greatly. It made me realise that sometimes when things seem bad, they may actually be God's mysterious ways in the works!

I may not know what is around the corner, but God does.

I may not understand His ways (for they are truly higher than mine!), but I can trust that He IS working things out for me - "plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11).

So, as I look at my own circumstances (which seem so hard to bear), I now wonder, perhaps this crisis SEEMS to be a crisis, but could be a blessing in disguise...? I may not know what is around the corner, but God does -- and perhaps the present pain is only "till the end of the block". It may seem like forever, but right now, I believe He must be already working things out for me, and therefore the faith challenge for me is whether or not I will Keep My Eyes On Christ -- even IN SPITE of the pain.

I may think it is a crisis, but it may be God's way of working things out for me - to deliver me from the Ultimate Crisis of all, which is to live life independent of God.

I believe that what God wants for me to do is not to run around finding yet another solution or quick-fix, but to Trust Him Fully, and Trust Him Only -- for that is the higher ground, the best path to walk on. And perhaps crises are His method of "weaning" me off my dependencies on idols or people (anything other than God Himself) -- so that I may be free to receive the greatest blessing of all: Christ Himself.

Family Matters

I must be getting old. I am experiencing a strange sensation of appreciation for my extended family, which I have not quite felt before. I actually was glad for them! For my dear cousin, Kev's sake, I have indicated their "designations" here - Kev, this is so you might be reminded of who's who before you return, and remember to call them correctly! :)


Suddenly, I appreciate the aunties and uncles that I have in a greater measure than ever before. Suddenly, the value of family is quite pleasant. Unlike the sense of feeling "watched" before (which creates wariness and suspicion in me), now I just feel "looked after" and "thought about" (which creates a sense of care and concern). How weird this change... I really must be getting old...

Today, we had lunch together at the Charming Garden restaurant at Copthorne Orchid Hotel because my 4-Peh and family were in town.



We had a delectable feast of dim sum treats. My favourite is chee cheong fun. Tua Goh (Eldest Aunt) treated all of us. She's my dad's eldest sister.

My dad (who passed away in 1990) is second youngest out of 10 kids, and Kev and Gina's dad, 4-Peh, is only one year older than my dad. This is my dad, whom I miss very much. But at least I know he's with God in heaven, so someday, I'll see you soon, pa!

Anyway, I got to hang out with my not-so-l'il cousin Gina again before they returned to Subang Jaya in the afternoon... which was cool, cos we got to take lots of pictures of our aunties and uncles, and chatted some more. Do you know, she's actually 13 years younger than me! I can't believe that the little girl I once carried is now, wow, 18 years old... and I, of course, am feeling a tad O-L-D. After all, I am now 31 and 5 days old :)


Well, here's the hottest model in the latest Canon advertisement in town :) For bookings, please leave a comment in this Blog and her agent will get back to you! Haha! :)

Babe On The Blog

A blog is a bizarre phenomenon, and I am finally jumping on the Blog Bandwagon -- just because I was curious, and now I've simply caved in to the cause :)

It has been fascinating to figure out how to make this Blog blubber all come together, but at last, the words and the images have fallen into place, in one piece...

Thanks to Kenneth, my oldest friend and cool technie dude, for directing me to blogger.com.

Thanks also to my not-so-l'il cousin, Regina, for showing me how to upload photos through photobucket.com.

Most of all, thanks to my other cool cousin, Kev, for getting me addicted to MSN, MP3s, command prompt interface, and all-things-tech :) See what you've turned me into!!! :)

Here's a pic of my sis Chris and me when we were in our (Much) Younger days -- we're playing Olympics on a reaaaallly old Apple computer. I think we wore out the arrow keys playing the 400-m race! Haha...

Gina Was In Town!

It sure was cool meeting my l'il cousin again (who isn't so little anymore, of course :).

No, not the baby -- the one carrying the baby is Regina (aka known as Latino Queen!:) Because "Regina" means Queen in Latin :)). And the baby is our niece, Ashley Tan, daughter of Stephen and Huixia. Here's Stephen carrying Ashley -- he's a protective daddy indeed!


And oh, here's what we had for dinner tonight

Actually, the reason for the gathering was to have a business meeting!
So while the adults talked, Gina and I huddled ourselves in one corner, where we had a good time just talking non-stop, catching up about our lives over what seems like "missing years", and somehow, having that lovely feeling that cousins becoming friends is simply way cool!

A Snapshot of Last Year

Here's a picture of me in Canada last year. I wonder if going back to school might be one way of getting my butt back to the West, which is where I'd really rather be...

I think I would be really happy if I were in a different climate, different culture, different zone... What I can't understand is why I feel so disconnected from where I'm currently at, which is in Singapore... I don't feel like I belong...

Extract The Precious From The Worthless

"Therefore, thus says the Lord,
If you return, then I will restore you -
Before Me you will stand;
And if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.They for their part may turn to you.
But as for you, you must not turn to them."

Jeremiah 15:19

In this lifetime, the chaff is not yet sifted from the wheat. But there will come a day when we will all be tested by fire, and the question then will be, what's left? Will we be like wood that has burned up, or will we find gold that can survive the heat of the flames?

In that light (or fire!), shall we not consider this higher calling too, given in Jeremiah? For "if you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become My spokesman," says the Lord.

I am reminded of the calling God gave me in 2000 to enter into fulltime ministry. Some days are easy, but some days are hard. Some days I just feel like throwing in the towel. Like now. When the going gets tough, the tough really feel like crying and giving up. I think the truth is, the tough weren't so tough after all.

But that's OK -- I think. I think God did not call us to be superpeople, because He only called us to obey. And He called us to "return". He also said not to "turn to them". "Them", I take to mean, idols, other methods, other ways of solving my problems apart from God...

If I choose to return, He will restore. And He will fulfil His destiny in my life - to make me His spokesman. How exciting...

The journey in following the Lord is not the wide and easy road; it is small and narrow. But happy is he (or she!) who shakes off the easy but worthless worldly methods in order to extract the difficult but precious higher ground -- where the air we breathe is cleaner and fresher, of a different kind.

Then, one day when you are tested through fire, it is precious gold that will glitter amid the flames, and in their beauty, call out the glory of the Lord - as His spokesman rightly should!

He Sees Me

God sees me. What a reassuring thought. I feel so comforted by the fact that I am never out of His sight. Our God never sleeps nor slumbers. And better yet, He's looking out for me!

2 Chronicles 16:9 says, "For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His."

Psalm 33:18 says, "Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope for His lovingkindness."

Psalm 34:15 says, "The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry."

Simply knowing that He is there - and that HE is far greater than all of us combined -- I know I am safe. This "HE" is my God, my Father, my HEro.

Just as He watches over the sparrows, so is He watching over me. What a great consolation to know that we are not alone.

I Believe

"I believe I can fly... I believe I can touch the sky..."

Popular lyrics, wishful thinking. Sheer denial.

The truth is, no matter how hard you believe you can, the fact is, you can't. The truth is, I have no wings, no superman (or superwoman) power, not even powered by google! Or any other engines.

There is no chance in hell (or on earth) that I would ever take off from the ground, against gravity, against all odds, against the way God created me to be -- I know I was certainly not made like a bird, and neither do I want to be one. I like myself the way I am -- two legs, two arms and no beak.

So I honestly cannot say I believe I can fly -- because I know for a fact that I can't. Not now, not ever.

Such a fantasy is impossibility of the highest degree (pun intended).

Some things are, by sheer physics and fact, impossible. But I do believe in a God who makes all things possible. And I believe that even if I can never physically take off "to fly the friendly skies" (other than on United Airlines!), I can find spiritual freedom because there is a God who is greater than gravity, and it is this God who can really take me to greater heights. (And I'm not talking about physical space either.)

Now, the only thing left to do is to stop believing that *I can*, and start believing that only *GOD can*. And as long as I put my trust in Him, He will truly help me to soar the way I was created to.


"The king is not saved by a mighty army; a warrior is not delivered by great strength.
A horse is false hope for victory; nor does it deliever anyone by His great strength.
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope for His lovingkindness, to deliever their soul from death and to keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield."

Psalm 33:16-20

A Day After 31

So... this is what it feels like to be single, footloose and fancyfree at 31 and a day old. I'm the one on the right, with my mum.

Can't say it's where I'd thought I'd be at this stage of my life... but at the same time, I suppose I can give thanks for my freedom.

No screaming kids to quieten down at a crowded shopping mall, nor do I have to check a gazillion schedules before I simply log onto www.zuji.com, purchase an airticket with one click of the mouse, hop on a plane and disappear into the Westbound horizons without a care or report...

Not to say that I don't love kids -- because I do! It's just that, I suppose, I'm talking about being content with where you're at. Even though I must confess, the feeling of carrying my nephew, Elliot Koh, was a marvellous feeling! Especially when he fell asleep on me later...


But anyway, here I am on this bright and sunshiney day in front of my computer, writing this blog so the whole wide world can get a glimpse of my life a day after 31 -- simply because I am single, footloose and fancyfree (and well, basically, free!).

So... there.