Of Nostalgia and Melancholy
Closure to a decade back in Singapore evokes some really strange sensations - at once glad and sad, fear yet excitement. There is a pendulum of emotions, and today, the swing is on the Semi-Sad-Pondering-Melancholic mark, as I wonder what's in store, and sometimes not feeling as confident how this Crazy Thang Called Canada is gonna work out.
Just because everything is so unknown, and I can't plan ahead to the next thing, whatever it is, it makes me feel nervous and frightened that I might stumble with my next step, and fall really flat on my face!
Yet, God says, He will not let my foot slip because He is the one who holds my hand. Will He hold on to me? Has He forgotten me... forgiven me?
The wheels are set in motion and come what may, there is a plane seat waiting for me on 30 May 2006, bound for Toronto. In many ways, I can't wait! But in many other ways, packing my entire life now as I prepare to go stirs up a myriad of unfamiliar emotions, and I find myself struggling with strange sensations....
But I think I have to go. It is a new journey, a new season,a new phase. A new chapter awaits to be written.
A chapter called Canada.
So as my life now lies in boxes and suitcases, I must not let the emotions get to me too much, and remind myself that transitions are of such a nature -- evoking melancholy and nostalgia, yet an anticipation of new things and new beginnings.
Just because everything is so unknown, and I can't plan ahead to the next thing, whatever it is, it makes me feel nervous and frightened that I might stumble with my next step, and fall really flat on my face!
Yet, God says, He will not let my foot slip because He is the one who holds my hand. Will He hold on to me? Has He forgotten me... forgiven me?
The wheels are set in motion and come what may, there is a plane seat waiting for me on 30 May 2006, bound for Toronto. In many ways, I can't wait! But in many other ways, packing my entire life now as I prepare to go stirs up a myriad of unfamiliar emotions, and I find myself struggling with strange sensations....
But I think I have to go. It is a new journey, a new season,a new phase. A new chapter awaits to be written.
A chapter called Canada.
So as my life now lies in boxes and suitcases, I must not let the emotions get to me too much, and remind myself that transitions are of such a nature -- evoking melancholy and nostalgia, yet an anticipation of new things and new beginnings.
posted by belle at 3:23 AM
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